you and tequila

when you know the end result
the chase usually isn't as exciting
sort of like knowing what happens
at the end of a 13 dollar movie
but we still sit through the drama,
the horror,
the comedy,
the "romance,"
and inevitably, the credits.
left feeling empty and alone
no one to turn to when
you feel you really need it most
my heart pounds in my chest.
it hasn't rested in almost three years.
even though I know
that the past is probably too much
for us to ever overcome
it never stops me
from wasting my 11:11 wish on you
and it's never been enough
to keep me from hoping
that maybe you waste yours on me too
i recite the words in my head
but never have the courage to say
what we really want
or need
because somehow i have convinced myself
that the notion of what could have been
will always be better
than knowing what could never be.